When do you give up on someone? At what point do you decide that the endless sleepless nights, the tears, the screams, the anger, the hurt and self doubt is just not worth it anymore? Tonight is that night. I heard him come in through the back door. I felt him slide in bed unknowingly of me being awake. How do you hurt someone like that? How do you stay out drinking, partying night after night knowing I’m at home waiting, worrying? I am done.
The rays of sunshine creeps though the small opening of the curtains. You are fast asleep. I guess I would be as well if I was out all night drinking and having a good time. I walk down the hall into the kitchen to start breakfast. It’s Saturday morning. There’s no reason for me to be up seven am. No reason at all. Let’s have some fun. I open the bottom drawer and take out the pan. I don’t bother to lift up the pots above it. The noise is deafening and I smile.
I burnt the toast and the eggs are raw. I love making you breakfast. The orange juice you are gulping down was meant for the pigs. Yeah. You were suppose to throw those out, remember? I asked you yesterday morning and you promised you’d do it last night. I squeezed them just for you. Drink up.
The headache tablets I put on the bedside table next to you was laxatives. Your day is about to get rough in approximately 10 – 12 minutes. Oh the joys of being your wife.
I smile as you jump up from the table and run into the bathroom. I get up and grab my coat.
“I’m going for a walk” I yell over my shoulder, not entirely sure if you heard me or not.
About a mile down the road I realize there’s no toilet paper in the bathroom, in fact there’s not a single roll of toilet paper in the house. Maybe I should stop by the store to get some. Maybe.
I hope you are having a fantastic morning my love. Be back soon. Or will I?